It’s been over 2 years since the first TendHer Pillow prototype was born. Since I’ve had mine, I’ve used them in countless other ways in addition to the original reason why they were made in the first place -- soothing my breastfeeding pain! Here are some of the other uses I’ve found them to be useful for!

Ten best uses I’ve found for my TendHer Pillows:

10) Keeping my soda can or bottle cold.

9) Stress ball. Have you played with one lately?

8) Playing patty cake with my toddler.

7) Conversation starter when visitors come and visit. Yes, there are always pillows lying around the house.

6) Icing my wrist when I was experiencing pain from carpal tunnel syndrome.

5) Placing on my son’s forehead or neck when he had a fever.

4) Keeping myself cool on a hot day.

3) Soothing my toddler’s and baby’s painful bumps, bruises and knocks.

2) Reducing puffiness in eyes caused by long sleepless nights.

1) Breastfeeding pain relief of course! Each time I feel engorged, get sore, get bitten, or have plugged ducts! Oh, and my latest breastfeeding issue? A distracted baby who takes it along with her each time she decides she wants to look at something else in the room! 

When we discuss our product with expectant moms, one of the most common back-and-forth's is, "This is so nice and soft... but... what's the gel made of?"

At that point it is so pleasant to reassure them: "Don't worry, it's made of food. Yes: FOOD! It's even vegan." Not that you'd ever wind up eating it of course - it's ensconced in the comfy film. But we took the time to develop a gel that would not only stay soft when frozen and be conformable around any anatomy, but also be completely creepy-free, because we know the primal instincts of a mom. And we applaud them.

During this celebratory Breastfeeding Week, it's easy to get caught up in how great breastfeeding is, and to want to offer help, tips, and advice for women who are in the thick of its challenges. But some helping isn't very helpful, especially when both the subject and the nipples are sore. Over-eager family members, friends, and even strangers can give off-the-cuff comments that can truly haunt a new mom. One friend still has to endure from, of all people, her father-in-law: "I felt so bad when your milk hadn't come in. Your baby was starving."  Her milk came in on Day 4 by the way, completely normal, but not accordingly to her father-in-law. The fact is, no one is going to care more about this topic than the mom herself, and adding pressure to her during that delicate phase will only make things worse.

We at Pariday realize that most new moms are at their max capacity in those first few weeks. The chances of helping her with any advice are slim; that said, what if there was just ONE thing that could help, just ONE thing that would make the difference, wouldn't it be worth sharing? So we do and will continue to post information that may, maybe, be useful. And if you have enjoyed our TendHer Pillows for breastfeeding pain relief, we believe you will do the good but thankless job of recommending them to a friend. It may make all the difference.

Formula is awesome. Yes I said it. Formula is an awesome invention. If you doubt me here are three stories to illustrate my point:

1) Catherine of Sienna was born in the 1300’s along with her twin sister Giovanna - they were the 20^th and 21^st children of 22 total. Her mother breastfed Catherine, but Giovanna was given to a wet nurse presumably because of milk supply issues.... unfortunately Giovanna didn’t make it to her 1^st birthday. What must her mother have thought at the burial… "if only I could’ve managed to breastfeed both; what if I had nursed Giovanna instead; was there a better wet nurse out there?" Or perhaps the cause of death was unrelated. Nevertheless, wouldn’t this mother have been thrilled to have access to infant formula… what a deep heartache she endured because of the times she lived in. Of the 22 children she birthed, 11 survived.

2) In 1971, my parents adopted my sister Eva from an orphanage in a small village outside of Lucknow, India. What did she have for her delicate first 3 months of life? Not breastmilk, not formula, not even cow’s milk, but rice milk. Would she be different if she could’ve had the fatty acids, proteins, and vitamins provided by formula? Of course we’ll never know, but we do know how critical those ingredients are to early brain development.

3) And lastly, a dear friend of mine had the unspeakable tragedy of having a child who did not survive for more than a few minutes after delivery. She became pregnant again sometime after that, but went into labor in the 2^nd trimester. As she struggled to breastfeed this tiny baby each day in the NICU, there was one day when she broke down in grief. The hospital staff assured her that the breastfeeding would come with time, and that formula is a good alternative. What they didn’t realize is that breastfeeding issues had nothing to do with my friend’s tears. This was the birthday, and deathday, of her previous child. Losing a child vs having breastfeeding problems is… well, it would be laughable if laughing were an option.

In light of stories like this, breastfeeding is very much a “nice-to-have,” not a “must-have.” The challenge as a new mom is separating those categories. It often seems like anything good for your child is a must-have. So you hang on and try to make it work. But ultimately, you must remember to rejoice that the child is alive, that you have an extremely good alternative food source, and that you are able to raise that child with every ounce of love you have, whether it’s through your sore nipples or a bpa-free bottle.

On Christmas Eve I happend to swing by Healthy Horizons in Burlingame with my in-laws, who were visiting from out of town. (Well done, HH, for helping people out that day!) I'm so proud to say that my mother-in-law, who doesn't just say things to be nice, was truly impressed by our TendHer Pillows. I got a "I wish you guys were around in my day" comment, which I always love to hear. She told me that she would've loved to use them in the inital stages of tenderness and sore nipples, but also, even more so, when she weaned.

She said the engorgement during weaning was excruciating; she BEGGED the doctor to give her something to dry up her milk supply. He told her "absolutely not", and recommended she wrap an ace bandage tightly around her breasts to reduce supply and swelling. Hmm, I thought, it sounds very old school, and painful for that matter. On the other hand, I did recall thinking that a tight bra reduced my supply / engorgement level a bit. Please send us a note if you have a comment on this one.

One consistent cross-generational take-away though: don't expect anyone who hasn't breastfed to be very sympathetic during your breastfeeding woes. I guess it is hard for them to visualize (or visceralize?) the pain you are in!

We've all heard (I hope) that lactation services and breastfeeding supplies will now be "covered by insurance."

What does that exactly mean? Therein lies the rub: it depends on your insurance.

First, it has to be a plan that started on or after August 1, 2012. Second, your plan has to be affected by the Patient Protection and Affordable Health Act. I’ve read that if your plan has to comply with the legislation, then no co-pay or co-insurance should be charged to you for all "breastfeeding support, counseling and supplies.” However, "Your insurance provider is your source to confirm if your plan is affected." So… we are all supposed to make that super awesome 1-800 call to our insurance company to find out. I especially love when they ask you to enter an alpha-numeric number into your keypad….

Well, I just got off the phone with Customer Support for my Anthem Blue Cross Lumenos HSA plan. This was the gist:

What is covered: Breast pumps - 80% of cost after deductible*. This is under the “Durable medical equipment benefits” category.

What isn’t covered: Everything else. Breastfeeding classes, lactation consultant appointments, and any equipment that does not have a procedural code is not covered.  (These codes are basically a series of telephone books with a letter-number combo for everything deemed reimbursable by Medicaid and consequently the insurance companies.) It is pretty difficult to bill anything to insurance without one of these codes.

Shocked Me: “Does this comply with the Patient Protection and Affordable Health Act?"
Agent: “Yes, and it was part of your benefits even before the legislation.”

These agents don't have a degree in medical coding and neither do I, but I did some digging, and there is actually a code for breastfeeding counseling, but it seems to not cover LCs (at least not yet). Anyone out there know? Anyone? One code seemed interesting under breastfeeding counseling according to this site: “Education and training for patient self-management by a qualified, non-physician health care professional using a standardized curriculum: 98960.”

According to another site: there is also a code for “Misc medical supplies for breastfeeding management and support” which includes nipple shields and creams that are prescribed by a doctor, mid-level, or midwife. These codes are:  CPT: A9900 Modifier: NU  ICD-9: V24.1. I intend to bill all my supplies in a claim form using this code. I’ll let you know what happens. With my first child, I spent about $500 to get past that initial breastfeeding learning curve. This time, let's hope everything I need to make breastfeeding happen is covered, including the breastfeeding pain relief provided by TendHer Pillows!

* The agent later called me back with the correction that breast pumps are covered at 100%, as long as the provider has a contract with Blue Cross.

For more information, especially in regards to IBCLC reimbursement, go to:

http://uslca.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Reimbursement_FAQ_Article_for_USLCA_6-2012_v2.pdf

http://www2.aap.org/breastfeeding/files/pdf/coding.pdf

Our company name is inspired from the Latin term Paridae, which is a family of small songbirds. Since the 14th century they have been called the titmouse or simply “tit.”

As if that alone weren’t enough inspiration, these birds were notorious in the UK for learning to break the seals off delivered milk bottles to siphon the cream off the top.  To really drive it home for us, it just so happens that tits attract their mates by bouncing up and down. These little birds are irresistible!

We also like being in their camp because they are cooperative breeders; in other words, they all contribute in caring for the babies, even when the chick is not their own. It is in that same spirit that we launched Pariday, to ease the burden of other new moms around us. We love the idea of putting something in a new mom’s hands that will really solve a problem for her. Don’t worry though, we’ll leave the singing to the real birds.

What the world needs now… is another mommy blog. Well, that is not exactly true. But we too think we have a few unique ideas. We’ll let you be the judge.

For our very first post we wanted to highlight our gratitude for each being part of the profound phenomenon of bringing life into this world. All those questions you use to put things in perspective, like, “what will it matter to me 40 years from now,” or, “what’s the worst that can happen,” fail to reduce the event to a small matter. In fact having a child will matter for the rest of my life. And if something goes wrong with bringing this child into the world, that too will matter for the rest of my life. It is impossible to minimize the profundity of childbearing.

So this post is not about our products. It is meant to give you a moment to thank whoever you thank for things that are beyond your most awesome will and power. Because no one can bottle the breath of life.